


Consulting Cosmo Magazine

by prince_of_hell



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 10:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6075822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prince_of_hell/pseuds/prince_of_hell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel wants to get Dean to himself, what better way than use suggestions from a magazine?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Consulting Cosmo Magazine

Castiel knew if he wanted to get Dean to be with him, it would had to be soon. Dean would probably get bored of him just being there if he did nothing. At the store he had picked up some magazines, just because he needed something to do, and lo and behold, he found what he needed.

There was a magazine with tons of sex tips, which he needed because the instruction film Dean had showed him wasn’t really his thing. He quickly paid for everything, not caring about the weird looks he got because of the magazine. As soon as he got back to the bunker, he plopped himself on dean’s bed like usual and started to read.

Castiel was surprised he had never heard of the majority of things in that book, they all made at least some sense, although some of them didn’t seem like they’d be pleasurable. He quickly rushed to get to work on his setup of sorts. He needed this to be perfect.

/“Watching a woman do yoga is the hottest foreplay you can have without touching each other.”/

That was something he could do, although he wasn’t in a female vessel, he figured it would have the same effect. It was a bit awkward, trying to do yoga in so many layers with his trench coat hitting the ground every time he moved but it would be worth it when Dean came back.

Dean did come back a few hours later, but he didn’t have the reaction Castiel wanted. He laughed quietly, asked what Castiel was doing and then walked out of the room. Maybe Castiel just wasn’t suited for yoga. He would try something else, something had to work.

/“According to new research, the smell of toast is a serious mood booster.”/

The next morning he figured he’d try again. He made Dean breakfast, according to the magazine toast would do the trick and he set it out for Dean, smiling hopefully as he watched him eat. It didn’t have the desired effect and just left Castiel frustrated as Dean went on with his day like nothing happened.

That magazine had to have something good, everyone seemed happy and satisfied in it and he just wanted to be happy and satisfied with Dean.

He would keep trying, he knew Dean wanted him, he just didn’t know how to say he wanted him back, and though it shouldn’t be as hard as it was, he was willing to do whatever it took. 

/"Grasp his hands and coax them into a prayer position, then position hands over his… Your words [will] become more persuasive to him, though he won't know why."/

Castiel couldn’t go wrong with this one, he knew it. He walked to Dean’s room and knocked on his door quietly. Dean answered almost immediately and he smiled, doing exactly what the instructions said.

“Dean?” He whispered “Would you uh…” he had forgotten he had to speak for this one and he wasn’t really sure what to say. He tried to come up with something but Dean had already pulled away, clearly confused.

“Uh Cas?” Dean asked “is something wrong, you’ve been acting strange lately?” He raised an eyebrow at Castiel, who just shrugged and ran out quickly.

/“Stroke her forearm first. This area of the arm is packed with pleasure nerves that respond best to a touch traveling 1 to 10 centimeters per second… [to stimulate] an area of the brain associated with trust and affection.”/

/"If you're out in public but want to make your intentions clear, slowly and firmly flick your tongue against the palm of her hand. If she just wipes it off down her skirt, you've blown it."/

They had gone to dinner, which was a normal occasion for them, him Dean and Sam would get burgers often but this would be different, he’d make sure it was different. 

He slowly reached out to touch Dean’s forearm, who he had moved closer to for this occasion. He slowly stroked it at the speed that was said, looking for some sort of reaction in Dean. There was just more confusion, which upset him slightly.

So he moved on, what else would you do? He grabbed Dean’s hand and licked his palm, getting the weirdest look from Sam that he chose to ignore, because this was actually working… until it wasn’t. He wiped it off on his pant leg, which Castiel assumed was the equivalent to his skirt and Castiel turned bright red, disappearing before Dean could say anything.

/“Cook dinner topless, get a little tomato sauce on your nipple.”/

/ "Give him a beer facial — the combination of the egg white and the yeast in the hops hydrates and improves skin elasticity… but you can just tell him that your lips can't resist his delicious, beer-flavored face."/

This was it. He was going all-out this time and he knew it would work well, there was no way he couldn’t. He was in the kitchen wearing nothing but Dean’s sweatpants, cooking dinner for him. The magazine said tomato sauce, so he had made spaghetti.

He set out beers for them as well, saving an extra for after they were done eating. When Dean walked in, he assumed that Castiel probably had a reason for being shirtless, so he didn’t acknowledge it, much to Castiel’s dismay, even when he got the sauce on his nipple and had to wipe it off.

The food was actually pleasant, and dinner was nice even though it wasn’t going exactly how he had hoped. He still and the beer, so he figured he would do it sooner rather than later. He quickly dumped the bottle over Dean’s head, and Dean’s eyes widened slightly.

“Does it feel good?” Castiel asked, doing his best to make his voice sound seductive. Dean had raised an eyebrow at him, so he went on “I just can resist your delicious, beer-flavored face.”

After a moments silence, Dean burst out laughing, smiling widely. “Are you using Cosmo sex tips?” he smiled, throwing his head back in laughter.

Castiel blushed slightly and nodded. He guessed the tips did work after all, maybe he’d get a chance to try the actual sex ones.


End file.
